Demidorks
by mystic wonderlands
Summary: Like the infuriatingly attractive dork he is, Percy Jackson forgets his girlfriend's birthday. So, Piper and Hazel decide to kidnap Percy, shove him into a gift box, and give it to Annabeth. The only question left is: how? Cute short stories on dorky demigods.


Packaged Percy

_It's not being evil, it's just displaying creative genius!_

Percy had no idea how he had ended up in a box. All he remembered was Hazel hitting him on the head with a frying pan and then blacking out. He was holding something square-like in his hands, but he couldn't see what it looked like. He could hear voices outside of the box, and it sort of eased his worries when he heard his friends talking in hushed voices.

Percy pressed his ear up against the box, straining to hear what they were chatting about.

"Don't worry," Hazel hissed. "We didn't kidnap you."

Somehow, Percy doubted that.  
_ _ _ _

_Earlier that morning..._

Percy's eyes flew open simultaneously as he fell off the bed, flailing his arms frantically.

"Ow," he groaned, groggily standing up and then flinging himself back onto the bed. He buried his face into his pillow, drooling subconsciously.

_Why did I wake up in the first place? _he thought. Percy opened one of his eyes to stare at the blue alarm clock on his nightstand. It was January 12th, twenty degrees outside, ten o'clock in the morning, and it was Annabeth's half-birthday.

_It was Annabeth's half-birthday._

The thought sunk in for about half a minute before it hit Percy like a five-hundred pound hellhound.

"Poseidon's underpants!" Percy yelped as his eyes flew open once more. Annabeth had spent her seventeenth birthday with Percy in Tartarus, slashing up monsters and trying to survive by eating fire. After they were back aboard the Argo 2, Percy had promised to do something extra special for her half-birthday.

But of course, like a true ADHD demigod, Percy had forgotten his promise until the day of.

Percy had a severe case of pillow hair and he could barely open his eyes, but he didn't care. Percy wriggled into a pair of jeans and slipped on a hoodie while grabbing for the front door handle. He was half way to his car when he'd noticed he'd forgotten his wallet to buy Annabeth a birthday gift.

"Dam," he cursed, patting his pockets. Percy sighed. Annabeth was going to skin him alive.  
_ _ _ _

Piper was standing at the entrance of the Empire State Building, clad in combat boots, ripped jeans, and a dream catcher T-shirt. She unlocked her phone again, glancing at the time: 9:45.

"Can Percy be any later?" Hazel said, tucking her hands into her coat. She exhaled, watching her breath explode into the icy air.

"Well, you can't expect the son of Poseidon to be early. He probably forgot about it," Piper stated, slightly smiling.

Frank and Hazel had come from Camp Jupiter to celebrate Annabeth's half-birthday. Percy was supposed to meet Piper and Hazel at the Empire State Building to plan the huge party he was going to throw Annabeth at 9:00, but if Piper had a guess, she'd assume Percy was snoring under the covers of his bed.

"Why don't you check Katoptris? I'm pretty sure you'll find out what Percy's doing," Hazel suggested.

"Sure," Piper agreed. Since Katoptris rarely showed visions of battles and oncoming death anymore, the bronze blade had been quite useful for other things, like spying on her friends.

She unsheathed the triangular blade, concentrating on the shining bronze. Light rippled on the blade, and she saw Frank and Jason talking to Chiron and Mr.D. Since Percy wasn't responding to her Iris messages, Piper had decided to get the party started herself, sending the boys off to glam up Camp Half-Blood for Annabeth.

Piper waved her hand over the blade, and the vision changed, displaying instead, a sleeping Percy drooling on his pillow. His Nemo stuffed animal that she had given him for his birthday lay next to him. Piper and Hazel laughed.

"Exactly what I thought," Piper said. "It doesn't look like he's getting up anytime soon."

"Give Percy a break," Hazel said. "He's had five years of nonstop monster slaying and titan bashing."

"True," Piper said, twirling the gold feather in her hair around her finger. "We should probably go wake him up."

"Wait," Hazel exclaimed. "I've got something better."

Hazel whispered the plan to Piper, despite no one being around. When she was finished, Piper smiled deviously.

"Hazel, I never knew you could be this _evil_," Piper teased.

Hazel shrugged. "It's not being evil, it's just displaying creative genius!"

Piper laughed as Hazel hailed a cab.  
_ _ _ _

Annabeth was slightly suspicious when Leo showed up at her cabin at 8'o clock in morning. Leo was sloppily dressed as usual, and he had an elfish grin pasted on his face.

"Hi, Leo…" Annabeth said cautiously. "What's up?"

Annabeth was well aware that it was her half-birthday, and she immediately guessed that Leo was a distraction to lead her away from Camp Half-Blood. She wasn't a daughter of Athena for nothing. Leo didn't visit Annabeth's cabin often. Percy had told her that was because Leo was terrified of her eyes. They weren't that cold…right?

"Hey, uh, Annabeth!" Leo greeted, twiddling with pipe cleaners and loose wires. "I need some help with designing this cabin."

Annabeth arched an eyebrow. Leo didn't need any help with building cabins at all. After the war with Gaea, Annabeth and Leo had resumed building cabins for the minor gods. Even if Leo did need help, he always had Calypso. She was great at building stuff. Annabeth decided not to question it. She smiled inwardly, knowing that her friends were just trying to make her seventeenth birthday the best it could be.

"Sure!" Annabeth said, smothering the smile. "What cabin is it?"

"Cabin 25," Leo responded.

"Oh."

Cabin 25 was Khione's cabin. Annabeth had heard that Leo didn't really have the brightest history with Khione. She'd done some pretty "icy" things to him, no pun intended. A few kids of Khione's had shown up during the year, and they were staying at the house Annabeth had built for kids who didn't have cabins yet. Annabeth sighed. They were going to double the strawberry sales to support all of the new construction.

"Yeah, I'll come right away. Just let me get my blueprints. I had some pretty cool ideas about this one."

She ran to the back of her cabin, shuffling through the file cabinet next to her bed to pull out her manila folder full of designs for the new cabins. She pulled out the blueprints for the Khione cabin out of the folder.

Annabeth studied them briefly. The Khione cabin was to be placed in the new wing of cabins, since the original one was too crowded to put anymore in. It was closed to the general public of the camp, excluding Annabeth and Leo.

_Bingo_, Annabeth thought. It was perfect location to distract her so the other campers could plan her "surprise" party.

_It's the thought that counts, _she told herself as she bounded out the door to join Leo.  
_ _ _ _

Percy didn't expect to forget his girlfriend's birthday. Yet, here he was, blindly sticking his hand under his bed to retrieve his wallet. So far, he had recovered a candy wrapper, an exam that he failed in fifth grade, and a baby photo of him with applesauce all over his face. He still hadn't found his wallet. If he didn't make Annabeth's day perfect, he was sure he was going to get skewered on a stick by Athena. In a moment of true inconvenience, the doorbell rang. He scrambled out from under his bed, hitting his head on the bed frame.

"Coming!" Percy yelled, running to the door. When opened the door, he was greeted by Piper and Hazel.

"Oh my gods."

For the second time that day, Percy felt realization smack him in the face.

"I forgot, didn't I?"

"Yep," they said in unison, stepping inside and hanging their coats on the wall.

"Don't worry, Percy. We've got you covered," Hazel said reassuringly, patting him on the back.

"Really?" Percy smiled, his sea green eyes lighting up.

"Really."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, we're sure."

"Positively sure?"

"_Yes, _Percy."

"Absolutely, positively su-"

"How about we just sit down somewhere and talk?"

Hazel led him to the dining table, sitting him down. Percy was pretty proud of his apartment. His mother and Paul were away on vacation, and Percy had kept the place clean himself. He'd changed the water in the turtle tank, fed the fish, swept the floor, and wiped the counters. Percy thought it looked like something you would find in Architectural Digest.

"We got you a frappuccino from Starbucks," Piper said, holding out the coffee cup in her hand. Percy eagerly took it from her. He needed caffeine to stay awake. Percy swept his hands through his messy hair.

"Man," Percy said, taking a sip of his drink. "I'm a horrible boyfriend. Annabeth deserves so much bet-"

"Shhhh, Percy. You're _really _tired, so you should sleep. We've got everything under control. Just go to sleep, Percy," Piper soothed sweetly.

Percy was tired before, but now his eyelids were beginning to droop. _Sleep_, his mind echoed. He couldn't go to sleep! It was Annabeth's half-birthday! Percy was slightly aware that there was something off with Piper's tone, but he decided to go with it.

"Yeah…I should go to..." Percy said woozily. His head hit the table before he could finish his sentence.

The last thing Percy heard before he passed out was, "Hazel, hit him with the frying pan for good measure!"

Hazel winced as the frying pan connected with Percy's head. It made a loud clanging sound, making her regret her decisions.

"Don't you think that was overkill?" Hazel asked.

"Nah," Piper responded. "Percy's got a tough skull." To prove her point, Piper knocked on Percy's head.

Hazel laughed. Now, it was on to Part Two: how to get a six-foot tall guy out of an apartment without looking like strange kidnappers. They really hadn't thought of Part Two. But, demigods were full of impromptu ideas, so they'd figure something out.  
_ _ _ _

Ten minutes later, Hazel had come to two conclusions.

Stuffing Percy into a huge laundry sack was harder than it looked.

She seriously needed to start lifting weights. She had like, no arm muscle despite years of training with her spatha.

Percy apparently talked in his sleep, and he'd say some pretty weird things that Hazel didn't want to repeat. She and Piper were currently trying to lug the laundry sack in the elevator, trying to avoid the curious looks of the other people in the elevator.

"On three," Piper said. "One, two, _three_!"

Hazel and Piper pulled together, using all their effort to push Percy into the corner of the elevator. A young man with blonde hair watched them with interest.

"Do you need help with that, or…"

"No!" Piper exclaimed. "No. No thank you."

Hazel could just imagine the man finding out that they had kidnapped Percy and calling 911. Hazel was fourteen. She didn't need a trip to juvenile detention. They rode the elevator awkwardly down to the lobby, looking down at the floor and listening to the weird 1970s music blasting out from the speakers.

"WHY DID YOU KILL MY FISH?" Percy suddenly yelled from inside the bag.

_Hades's helm, _Hazel thought. They should've put a gag on Percy. She beamed at the other passengers in the elevator.

"Sorry, that was just my, uh, video of my little brother."

Piper gave her a disapproving look. Yeah, it was a pretty horrible excuse. She smiled sheepishly back. The people in the elevator who were near the sack started to slowly move back, wearily eying the bag. Hazel sighed. At least they weren't banging on the elevator doors and screaming for help.

Piper and Hazel dragged the bag with great effort out of the lobby entrance, pausing to catch their breath.

"There is no way we're catching a cab to Camp Half-Blood with Percy in this sack."

"Nope. You spoke for the both of us, Piper."

And with that, Hazel wondered what had gotten into her when she'd came up with this plan.

**WOOO I hope that wasn't too bad. Please review or favorite or follow or what not! I'd appreciate it so much! This is going to be a collection of short stories about the demigods and other main characters. This is part one of Packaged Percy.**

**Thanks! :)**

**-Ashlynn**


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